Exam time, the heat outside and being forced to stay at home make up for a powerful trigger for the procrastinator in some of us. So one just ends up thinking about all the things in this world except for the things that actually merit attention. The following are therefore a slew of disconnected realizations that have dawned on me in the recent past as a result of pretending to study and actually staring at the walls instead.
Number One: It's very easy to say that one must not have any regrets in life because invariably one does. That is not something a 21 year old should say but well, such is the scheme of things. I have always maintained that choice is a curse and boy is it exacerbated by indecisiveness. It may be a mark of lack of conviction or ambitiousness, but you've just got to let go of some things in life and not ask too many questions.
Number two: It's true that our choices make us who we are, but in the end it's all just a big gamble. We are imperfect, our thinking is imperfect, situations are mostly imperfect and so are the outcomes. So there really is no option but to go with your gut feeling and believe and hope that things work out and if they don't (and I'm going to get a little preachy here), I go by the following -
"..Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.."
Number Three: For the past year, I and most of the people I know have been struggling to find some certainty in life. Yes, well we're all at the point where some tough and life changing decisions must be made. No, now I'm just being dramatic - it's basically just end of college and therefore time to figure out what to do next and apparently justify why we're doing what we're doing as well. I have hated this past year because of all the questions and the thinking and the commotion; but I've also loved it because of the challenges it brought, the things it taught and just the crazy streaks it revealed in a lot of people
But now things are somewhat sorted for me and most of my friends, albeit momentarily. The most important thing that I've realized out of all of this is that there is no such thing as certainty. So it's futile chasing this impossible goal. You'd probably be miserable if there wasn't that optimal amount of anxiety and nervousness to keep you on your toes and make you think. I look at the grown ups around me and find them getting less and less sure of what they're upto each passing year..so I figure, that finding certainty should be the least of my concerns as long I just keep doing something and learning something.
Number four: There are a few good things in life which will remain irrespective of how everything eventually turns out - good books that can be read and re-read, places that don't rip you off that can be seen, new people to be met, cool old friends to be visited, family who will hopefully be there to make you feel you're still special, TV which you will still be able to afford and enough food and water for us to survive. Peace.
(No time to proofread, so please don't mind the errors okay!)
