Underground

I usually like to be the one who is thankful for whatever he/she has and does not crib about what he/she doesn't get. Today, just isn't one of those days. Important part of the whole situation however is - how to deal with such times.

So the feeling/situation at hand: That of mediocrity, of being average, of not living up to expectations; some internal and some external, of failing repeatedly, of trying incessantly and feeling the lack of reward, of being alone, of not being loved, of not loving enough, of not working hard enough, of being an under performer, of regrets, of contemplating goals not reached and tasks not done, of disappointment, of hopelessness, of defeat.

Sometimes one just feels tired of the race, of the competition, of being the way the world wants you to be, of not being accepted the way you are, of believing that you are special but finding out that maybe you aren't.

But then again, we can't make our own parallel world and live in it, now can we. Darwin rules, it is the survival of the fittest. You have no option but to suck it up and be the spider that does not stop trying even though sometimes it seems futile. I like to believe I'm not the only one. I also like to believe that there is a place in this world which is for me and which I will hopefully find, soon. But until then, the best I can do is vent my blues here and move on.

So this one is for everybody who feels meaninglessly low for stupid things which seem like the end of the world, but you know what, they really aren't.