What lies ahead

This blog, like myself is at this point of time very wary about its future. With not much happening, or maybe too much happening around the both of us, we seem to be losing out. Here are a few things, random as always that just come to mind as I ponder over this year and the year to come.

So this is me, procrastinating in the name of retrospective thinking.

I have just started out on this whole 'deciding about your future' path. If you happen to live in India or in any place where there are just a million people running after everything (okay, so that practically applies to the whole world) it's difficult to think of yourself as unique and not a part of 'the race'. Everyone is a part of some race. Some win, some lose and then there are the one's like me - running, panting, losing breath, sometimes almost winning but not quite there; thinking as to why they even started running in the first place or why they aren't running fast enough knowing well enough that they should be and that it's the only way to go.

I have no idea what I'll be doing next year and where I'll be - I guess that doesn't sound too astounding coming from a 20 year old. Things that I happen to like are sort of mutually exclusive, so that makes my choices harder. Also I am not a person of extremes - I do not particularly 'love' or 'hate' anything; maybe that means I am not passionate enough (and I like to believe that isn't true), but what the hell can one possibly do. To add to the misery is the overload of expectations - some from others, but mostly my own.

I guess, everybody has to just go through this phase and then just eventually look back to see how foolishly they acted. But all I pray for (I'm almost an atheist, but not there exactly) is that if and when I look back I don't have too many regrets or that what I have more than compensates for what I don't.

People say that this is the time - to live, to work hard, to explore the world, to just be; one isn't young forever and challenges only multiply from hereon. I think this is one of the oldest cliches, but like all other cliches, maybe it is infact true. It's true that loss and rejection do hit us (mildly irrational people) badly, but then there's our whole lives lying ahead of us, so it's always a comforting option to hope that better things lie ahead and that everything will 'eventually' fall into place as per our 'master plan'. But I wonder, will this consolation work when I'm 40 and still as confused and indecisive and dissatisfied as I am today?

Growing up is over rated. Very, very over rated. You don't get some enormous dose of wisdom to make the right decisions, it just becomes impossible to avoid them anymore or let someone else decide for you.

I've often said that choice is a curse, really, I wish sometimes that someone should just pick and choose for me and tell me what to do. But I know that's easier said than done. Life at this point is so much like a drive on Delhi's roads(pardon the awful analogy) - you want to take the least crowded path as you start off your journey, you make your calculations which seem logical but are basically just based on imagination. Finally, you know you can take just ONE route and only hope that timing and luck, all work in your favour. The path ahead could be a smooth one or full of traffic, and you know that very well.

Some things are just too unpredictable to lose your hair worrying about them. Lets do what we can do best - take that leap of faith and hope everything works out fine.

For those who feel the same way(perpetually lost and over thinking about the future)and who don't mind seeking some pseudo inspiration, listen to 'Everybody's free to wear Sunscreen' by Buz Luhrmann. It's a brilliant song, just perfect for times like these:)