Sometimes letting a person/thing/place go is much more than just the physical separation or absence. Often you may have anchored so much of your life and thoughts around it that the thought of distancing leaves a void. I think it happens in school, college changing of houses/neighborhoods - the bout of nostalgia, the feeling of being lost. Of course more than often, the goodbye is also accompanied by a new introduction and a feeling of moving ahead, building on things of the past - having made the most out of them, harboring the hope of doing both yourself and the place good by this act of moving on - moving ahead is natural, it's destiny, after all. I wonder how the thing being left behind feels?
It had anchored itself completely to you as well and perhaps never thought of moving on. You are not to be blamed, by any definition. Maybe the house is stupid, hell it's not even suppose to think and "feel" such things, right? It wants the best for you, it really does - but you leaving is not only a separation for it; it's a moment of epiphany, of the things that lay ignored as it spent time with you (no, it's not regret, trust me), of it's own nothingness without you, of it's inability to share your enthusiasm at this juncture and sometimes, even doubting this nostalgia you show. It can't blame you, it doesn't want to, but it is most certainly set off on a spate of self criticism for putting so much at stake with your promises of being there forever.
Where the hell does this come from, there were no promises - at such a stage, you can't make promises and even if you do, it must be unsaid yet understood that they may not be kept due to changing circumstances. You have a life to build, besides your time here was what - a pimple in the overall timeline and of course you will eventually return. You care for me, right? Wait, I shouldn't ask you such questions, your do of course. I am happy for you, this will be good - for you to do what you wanted to to and for me to be able to attend to chores that lay ignore in the enthusiasm of being with you. It will resume, meanwhile I'll try to live up to be interesting enough to either keep you home or not lose it on losing you.
Take care my friend.
Your brief old abode.
It had anchored itself completely to you as well and perhaps never thought of moving on. You are not to be blamed, by any definition. Maybe the house is stupid, hell it's not even suppose to think and "feel" such things, right? It wants the best for you, it really does - but you leaving is not only a separation for it; it's a moment of epiphany, of the things that lay ignored as it spent time with you (no, it's not regret, trust me), of it's own nothingness without you, of it's inability to share your enthusiasm at this juncture and sometimes, even doubting this nostalgia you show. It can't blame you, it doesn't want to, but it is most certainly set off on a spate of self criticism for putting so much at stake with your promises of being there forever.
Where the hell does this come from, there were no promises - at such a stage, you can't make promises and even if you do, it must be unsaid yet understood that they may not be kept due to changing circumstances. You have a life to build, besides your time here was what - a pimple in the overall timeline and of course you will eventually return. You care for me, right? Wait, I shouldn't ask you such questions, your do of course. I am happy for you, this will be good - for you to do what you wanted to to and for me to be able to attend to chores that lay ignore in the enthusiasm of being with you. It will resume, meanwhile I'll try to live up to be interesting enough to either keep you home or not lose it on losing you.
Take care my friend.
Your brief old abode.
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