Loss

Only a couple of weeks back, I was asking this co-blogger and friend whose blog is one of the first that I religiously follow, about a post where she talked about dying and the things she would want people to remember if she did. I actually got slightly unnerved over the fact that she was thinking of death all of a sudden and had made up sort of a wish list. Today, I read the blog of Tejaswee Rao - this girl from my college who I unfortunately never got to know and who died of dengue recently. I think somewhere this incident moved all of us and makes me want to put down some of my recent and not so recent realisations about losing people and associated things/feelings -

1. Generally, 'young deaths', mainly those under the age of 40-50 years have become scarily common. Lifestyle, stress, alcohol whatever be the reason, it has made life so short, unpredictable and just plain scary. The lesson to learn from this however is to enjoy the present, cushion your future a bit and really really hold on to the people you love. Don't just forever keep running after something. Higher expectations are the key to everything, agreed, but contentment is a very good thing to adopt too.

2. I hope and pray, no one ever has to experience this, but losing someone you love IS the hardest thing. Its not overrated and I say this, because I know. The strange or funny or absolutely ridiculous part is that NOTHING even pauses as a result of it, nothing changes and even without the people you center your life around, you live, smile, be happy and celebrate. Time does heal, but somehow its always an incomplete picture. Its a puzzle with maybe just one piece missing, but no matter how hard you try, this is the one thing that doesn't change - incompleteness prevails.

3. Losing someone also really raises your level of disappointment. Life has to give it real bad to break you. Also, no loss is ultimate. One big disaster doesn't mean that that's it for you for life. Life and the roadblocks that accompany it never cease. Just that you learn one crucial lesson, cliche but relevant nonetheless - 'This too, shall pass.'

4. I read these couple of lines a long time back and they've been ingrained in my mind ever since; today I know how very true they are.

'There's one sad truth in life I've found while journeying east and west. The only folks we really wound are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest, and deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best.' - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We do take the people we have in our lives for granted - especially parents, siblings, spouses, old friends - who we know are (presumably) here to stay. We always invest so much time in making appropriate first impressions, sustaining certain relationships we know are ephemeral - because the genuine one's just manage to survive despite everything and in the process of doing so lose out on time and people who make us who we are. I know the basis of your relation with your parents, siblings, friends, relatives cannot be based on the fact that you may lose them one day but do keep reminding yourself of their significance and what you're life would be without them.

5. Fights, arguments, misunderstandings etc. I know how completely relevant they are for any sort of a relationship to grow between absolutely anyone and everyone, but we sometimes get so blinded by the insanity that we forget where to draw the line. Bitterness that prevails for too long just solidifies some times and again we need to remember - life is TOO SHORT to fight for more than a day! I am learning too, but we really need to realise where to put a full stop and not delay this realisation.

With that, I think what I need to put a full stop to is this post. See, the whole vent up writing energy just got released. This may be a little didactic and incoherent and illogical and slightly depressing and well, heard of pretty often, but what the hell.

P.S - I love blogging.